So, me and Tim have this system when it comes to taking out the trash. It’s called Trash Jenga.
Basically, when the trashcan gets too full, we just start stacking new trash on top instead of taking it out. Each time someone adds something, it gets more unstable — and the person who knocks it over has to take it out. Simple rules, high stakes.
One time, we stacked it so high it touched the ceiling and accidentally summoned the Trash Monster — but that’s a story for another time…
On this particular day, the trash tower was only halfway up. I tried to stack a pizza box and a water bottle on top, playing it careful, but right as I was balancing it… Tim started blasting music upstairs — the new Playboi Carti track “Like Weezy”.
Caught me off guard, and boom — trash everywhere.
I scrambled to clean it up before Tim came down, but of course, he showed up right as I was trying to rebuild the stack. And Tim? He’s competitive. Like, once he wins at anything, he starts running his mouth.
And I’m the same way, so when he started talking trash (literally), I got mad, picked up the garbage, and just walked outside to dump it.
Tim followed me, still chirping, until we got to the dumpster — and that’s when the vibes changed.
We heard this high-pitched scream. Not like a person-scream… but something strange. We both stopped. I hesitated for a second, then just tossed the trash in the dumpster and bolted.
And whatever was inside? It screamed louder.
Now, being the responsible content creator I am, you know what I did — pulled out my phone and started recording.
That’s the video I posted: me walking up to the dumpster, Tim right next to me, and a raccoon jumpscaring the life out of us.
What the video didn’t show? The raccoon leaping out of the dumpster — with his entire family.
And they started chasing us.
Me and Tim ran full speed back to the house and slammed the door behind us. But the raccoons weren’t done. They started knocking on the door. Like… politely. Which was terrifying in a whole new way.
I decided to man up and open it.
To my surprise, the raccoon family was actually super chill. Turns out their last name was the Johnsons. They explained it was a misunderstanding — they thought we were our next-door neighbor, who they apparently have serious beef with over dumpster rights.
After clearing things up, I invited them in for coffee and to meet Tim.
They ended up staying for the Lakers vs. Warriors game. It turned into a pretty great night.
But I didn’t have another wild incident like that until Tim got into trouble with the neighbor himself…
but that’s a story for another time…
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