Tim Tracer

So I haven’t written one of these in a while, but here we go.

This story is about the time I took Tim to the movies to see Sinners.
But — surprise, surprise — some people met us there.

So boom — me and Tim were scrolling through TikTok, and we kept seeing clips and reactions about Sinners. People were going crazy over it, calling it the best movie of the year. After the fifth “YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS” video, we gave in and decided to go.

We booked two tickets at AMC for the 7:30 showing.

But of course, things never go as planned — we ended up leaving the house at 7:35… because we tried to make a grilled cheese the long way. And yes, it went wrong. But that’s a story for another time — probably tomorrow.

Anyway, we live close, so we got there around 7:45.
Tim wanted popcorn (obviously), so we waited in line, grabbed snacks, and everything felt surprisingly normal.

But of course, that didn’t last long.

As we left the concession line and headed toward our theater, we noticed one of the movie poster displays was… moving.

And I don’t mean like an animated screen. I mean actual movement — like real-life stuff was crawling on it.

Curious (and ignoring all red flags), we walked over to check it out.

It was a Bug’s Life 2 poster — which was news to me, didn’t even know that was a thing. Said it was coming out June 21st. But the poster was covered in ants. Like a million ants crawling all over it.

At first, I thought it was part of the promo. Like, you know, immersive marketing or something.

So naturally, I pulled out my phone and started recording.
Because at the end of the day, I am a content creator.

But the second I stopped recording… all hell broke loose.

Out of nowhere, Eric comes sprinting around the corner yelling, “ATTACK!”

Instantly, the ants swarmed. Me and Tim didn’t even have time to think — we ran straight out of the theater and booked it nearly a mile away before the ants backed off.

Now, you might be wondering why we were attacked by an ant army outside an AMC.

Turns out, Eric still wasn’t over the time I threw a box at him in the house.
(You remember the oven incident.)

Apparently, he placed a tracker — like a literal Apple Air tag — in my car, followed us to the theater, and planned this whole thing. He knew I’d pull out my phone and film a poster if it had a bunch of ants on it.
Honestly? Tactical. Diabolical. I gotta respect it.

You also might be wondering why he went after Tim, too.

Well… Tim did try to protect Eric when I threw the box. But in Eric’s mind, Tim still chose to stay with me instead of joining his colony. That was enough for him to feel betrayed.

So yeah.
We never made it into the theater. Didn’t watch Sinners.
And now me and Tim are lowkey terrified of movie theaters.

Honestly, it’s almost as bad as how we developed a fear of going to Five Guys.

but that’s a story for another time…